mid-night snacks

December 4th

I’ve never really bought into the idea that all things have their time and place, but today I can confidently say: some things do. Last night, December 3rd, after what I’d convinced myself was a taxing day of blue Light exposure, I decided to inundate myself with a bag of Trader Joe’s Christmas tree gummies at 11:45pm. Horrid. Gummies after lunch at 1pm, that’s civil. Gummies before dinner, that’s a bit unconventional, but why not. Gummies after dinner, now that’s a classic. But, 11:45pm? Only moments before the witching hour, well, it was unholy.

After what I can only say was an unsatisfying night of sleep, I thought to check-up on my well-neglected LinkedIn account. LinkedIn, as a site, I feel can be best described as Tinder for finance boys; I say this because like Tinder, LinkedIn offers a platform for those well-endowed in an area valued by our society. For Tinder, this area is generally limited to the abdomen, facial region, while LinkedIn zeroes in on capital conquest and collared shirts.

Yes, I know it’s easy for me to sit here and bemoan the attractive and successful but it is only because I’m so well-adjusted. If I’m honest with myself, and anyone else who happens to be listening, it can be difficult to justify an action or what we are forced to call ‘hobbies’ that aren’t valued by someone outside yourself. Instead of saying, “I’m a rock collector” you have to say, “One of my hobbies is rock collecting”, why? Because you wouldn’t want someone to discover how much space these crusty geological masterpieces take up in your mind. Or maybe you have a hobby that is a bit more active and might find a more reasonable grievance. I’m hopeful that you do.

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